Can Men Pull Off Jewelry?
For years and years there have been debates about “man jewelry” and whether or not a man can pull off the accessory without giving off a bad impression. Make no mistake a timelessly nice watch or, if the occasion calls for it, a set of badass cufflinks can be very classy. There are also other exceptions, of course, bling serves as an important role in the hip-hop world, and piercings are one of the most expressive ways to show off your personality or quirkiness. But in the cutthroat world of fashion, there are other mountains you must climb before daring to add anymore flash to your look. Especially accessorizing, it is a very tricky art to master and there are several areas to cover before jumping into the man-jewelry realm. Such as owning the art of tailored pants and well-manicured nails before you’re ready to take on man-bling. Accessories are essential in helping tie your look together, and if your “look” is baggy pants with white sneaks, then adding a bunch of rings and pendants into the mix won’t make you look better, instead, it will make you look like someone trying to mimic a look you found on MTV Jams.
There are many other less try-hard ways to show the world your inner pharaoh other than jewelry. Begin first by mastering elementary accessory techniques such as matching your socks, getting a decent haircut and even add a trendy hat to the wardrobe. Until then, do not enter into the ambiguous world of man-bling. Leave that to the professionals!
Here is a breakdown of what effect your choice of “Man-Bling” gives off to others courtesy of DeadSpin:
Intended Effect: “I drive a white Dodge Viper and smell expensive.”
Actual Effect: “On our third date, I’ll get high on blow and ask you to braid my back hair.”
Intended Effect: “I’m an A&R guy. Bono gave me this shirt.”
Actual Effect: “I spent the morning crying and I bathe with wet wipes!”
Intended Effect: “I am soulful, passionate, and civically engaged.”
Actual Effect: “No one has told me about Twitter.”
Intended Effect: “My personality is as the ocean: chill, mellow, full of dolphins.”
Actual Effect: “I will wear board shorts to our wedding. Sober, I have the charisma of a dinner plate.”
Intended Effect: Jay Z.
Actual Effect: Soulja Boy.
Intended Effect: “This is guaranteed to accentuate my bulging pecs, upon which it will rest like a badass snake on a chiseled slab of man rock.”
Actual Effect: “You are talking, but I am thinking about my v-neck collection.”
Intended Effect: “Rustic and manly, this matches my designer flannel and ornamental power drill.”
Actual Effect: “I hired someone to put together my IKEA shelves.”
Intended Effect: “I’m spiritual and therefore trustworthy”
Actual Effect: “I murdered the last man who mocked my soul patch.”